I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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