Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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