Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
