So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
someone owes me an orgasm
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
