He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
