Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
