Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If I die, sorry about rent.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
