when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I understand Curling. That high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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