No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
