Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
