My nipple is on Facebook.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
