I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
