my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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