at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
