Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
