I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
