Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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