I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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