Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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