And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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