my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
