Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
