I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
