I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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