FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
