he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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