It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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