I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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