If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
