She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize
