Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
