Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
