I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I puked a lego.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
