I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
