Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I have aggressive nipples.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
