Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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