Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
