North Korea, Best Korea!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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