Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
