the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Everclear isn't food dammit
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
