physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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