oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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