Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
