my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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