with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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