Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
