so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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