Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
