Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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