so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
