this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
