She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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